Deepspace carrier signal sales...
The sky was a deep shade of orange as the sun [BEEP] set over the vista of the mountains on Amarr. I watched as my most trusted slaves [BEEP] finished loading the last of the cargo into the large Rupture [BEEP], that was resting on the docking bay. [BEEP].
What? I can't and never will fly a Rupture.. what the fu..?
The alarm from my comms station was not giving up its fight to wake me from this nightmare, and for that, I was thankful.
[BE] I pressed the mute button.
"Speak", I commanded.
The voice of my most trusted slave emanated from the comms console. "Sir, I have a message from XXX(*), she says that you can't refuse this offer. Shall I put her through?"
Damn that woman; she has half-assed offers that even my slaves can refuse.
My slaver hound, Liberty, stretched and padded over to me and sat wondering what all the commotion was about. If she didn't get a good nights sleep she would reek havoc among the slaves in the morning.
I remembered Archbishop asking me to keep the hounds under control and decided that Liberty should have the day off, and made a note to command my footman to make sure she was well fed, and to take her out for some small game to keep her active.
"OK", I sighed, "Put her through".
I could see where this was going. I had been running some small-fry missions for XXX(*) for the last few days, and, to be frank, I thought she was getting slightly too friendly..
"Hello Skinman, I like your ship!"
What? I'm not even docked in her station. Either she has some very good spies, or she's simply neurotic.
"I see you have a nice stack of loyalty points with myself, and I can offer you this one opportunity to redeem them for one skillbook of Amarrain Starship Engineering."
"I already ha..", I started,
"All I need is confirmation of your name and Concord Clone ID, and I can transfer this one time opportunity to your hangar immediatley."
"Confirmation of my name? You called me.. you know me, and I already ha.."
"We have only few of these skills books left, so I thought, since you where so fantastic with the previous missions that I gave you, that you would like first refusal on this great one time offer."
"I ALREADY HAVE THAT DAMN SKILL BOOK, AND THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU HAVE OFFERED IT TO ME. I REFUSED ALL THE PREVIOUS TIMES, SO WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL TAKE THIS ONE?", I screamed, tiredness and exasperation getting the better of my temper. I made another note to seek out Brother Kostantin for further enlightenment in dealing with these asshats.
"Yes Sir, but if you can just confirm your Concord Clo.."
"NO, DO YOU HEAR ME? NO!! AND IN FUTURE, JUST LEAVE A MESSAGE AND I SHALL DECIDE TO GET BACK TO YOU, GOT IT?"
"Certainly Sir, Can you just confirm the comms. I.D. so that I ca..".
I didn't even remember pulling my sidearm, but the sparking wreck of the console on the other side of my desk seemed to be proof enough.
My head was pounding from lack of sleep, and, having to deal with various companies' trends of outsourcing their sales pitches to muppets that never take a mental note that you have already said "NO!" was really starting me thinking of releasing some of my slaver hounds, baited with these agents scent, onto their stations.
A good start to the day. As I donned my robes I decided my first course of action would be reading the scriptures again, lest I let my temper overrun my conscious, and wallow in causing death and destruction.
(*) - Information omitted for security reasons.