No mountain too high, no river too deep
Well met, people tall and decently sized!
My name is Tarky, and I happen to be the worlds most famous... errr... mage dealing with demons in a very non-evil way. Uhm... well... I really found poor Kargup. He's just an Imp and he took all the pictures. Actually it's none of your business anyways.
Today I devised the most cunning spell ever invented - better than anything even the elves could come up with when they weren't all gloomy and doomy. Or so I heard. Actually I had just killed some troll (no pun intended... he really gave me funny looks I swear) when I stepped into some undefined goo. To be honest I have no clue what it was but it was sticky - sticky to a point that I made slurping noises walking. On snow, mind ya. Being the clever gnome I am I saw my chance to visit exciting places, find strange new lifeforms and civilizations and boldly go where no gnome had gone before!
Believe it or not, it worked. I walked up cliffs with the ease a fly walks up a window. It was fun and after fooling around for a while I started the first leg of my journey at Cooldbreeze Pass (or watsitsname?). Climbing up onto the mountaintop I headed for Gnomeregan to have a look from above and drop some unpleasant stuff onto the leper gnomes below.
On my way I stumbled upon a camp in a small, secluded valley that looked rather gnomish, but unfortunately no one was home (see first picture).
To give you a hint where the camp is I have also added a map of the area.
So I trodded onward, but became curious if I could possibly reach the ocean if I'd head west. All I found was snow. Very flat snow indeed. Quite boring and empty - until I reached a very steep cliff from which I could see a barren landscape below.
As I had forgotten how to cast a fly spell I had to pass on the opportunity to fall very long.
As there wasn't much I could do (in fact I pondered to throw the Imp down the cliff and count the seconds until his screams would end but thought better of it as I needed him to take the pictures) I headed back and climbed a peak to look down on Frostmane Hold.
From there I went back down into the snowflats behind Gnomeregan, hoping to find some life, dead gnomes, recycable bodyparts, ore veins or at least some trees. Nada. Zilch. I wonder if the damn leper gnomes are to be blamed for that desolation.
Finally I found a spot high (for gnomish standards) above Gnomeregan from where I could take this lovely picture.
Actually I also climbed the highest mountain, which was already in the Wetlands and shouted something like 'Hello Wetlands, this is Tarky the gnome speaking from 8000m atop a snowy mountain!'. No one was impressed. Actually no one even took notice of me. That tells you something about manking (dwarvenkind/elvenkind...). Small wonder people like me start to conjure demo... ANYWAYS... cough, cough That was the first leg of the journey. The better part is still to come.
Arseing about near that funny dwarven village I got bored of killing crag boars pretty fast, and the soggy noises of my shoes just called for some more travelling.
Thus I went to the Ironforge gate, turned sharply left and climbed up into the mountainrange there. Boy, there's much to see in that neck of the wood.
First of all I stumbled upon another small camp and again no one was around. I swear that the fire was burning and no one was around. No, I didn't burry them under the snow. There was NO ONE there, ok?
I then climbed up to a spot above the Ironforge gate just to take a picture for the people at home. If there was anyone left at home that is.
I bet even dim people like you have seen the airfield on the mountaintop above Ironforge when your griffons swoop low over the treetops under the weight of your fat arses. That is where I went next.
Lots of dwarves up there. Ironforge Guards in fact who look pretty bored and mumble incomprehensible nonsense. I guess it's very lonely up there.
I found a tunnel up there that leads deep into the mountain. Unfortunately some invisible barrier prevented me from entering. Boy, are they lucky that I forgot how to cast 'Tarky's devastating annihilation of magical barriers'. Maybe next week.
Time to pay the gnomish engineers a visit who are fiddling around with the planes all day. Talking to them wasn't overly productive either, but the lined up planes are truely an impressive sight. Almost as impressive as myself and my Imp I should add.
Did I mention that I wouldn't trust this machines as far as I can throw them? Have you ever noticed that some of them are plucked into the mountainside? I'll stick to my teleportation spells. When I have finally learned how to cast them.
Before someone thinks he one of the sharper knifes in the drawer and claims something like 'yadda yadda... who knows where that drunken gnome has really been?' I'll show you another map where my lille Impy has marked our location. I am sure you trust him, right? Right?
They even have a gryphon station up there, which means that you large people could theoretically get there, too. As I don't think that you could shove your fat butts up here cross country you are out of luck though - the gryphon master went of to pee in the woods and never returned. He probably fell down some cliff. Whatever, no ride for you!
Let's have a final look at the airfield before we head off north towards Wetlands again.
On the second picture you see the top of a waterfall I had to jump down. On the third picture you see the result of me jumping down the waterfall. A very unpleasant experience, but hey - the show must go on: 'no mountain to high' as I said.
Before you ask - yes, walking down steep cliffs with my slippers of spider climbing needs improvements. Maybe some more goo would do the job.
Just some more pictures of the very impressive waterfall. The water is icecold - someone not as tough as me would probably die just looking at it.
At the bottom there's a dwarven village. All farms and, guess what, farmers. They even have 'mounted mountaineers' who seem to have lost their mounts. I heard goats are very tasty and dwarves always hungry.
Very nice and quiet. Somehow I felt the urge to kill all the rabbits infesting the area but the farmers were following me around with pitchforks. I suppose the Imp made them suspicious. I must remember to buy a wig and a fake beard for him.
There's also a beautifull view down on Menethil Harbor - you can almost touch it, but I happen to know that tons of Murlocs are lurking below to gnaw on the bones of gnomes foolish enough to jump down.
I forgot the picture of the mounted mountaineer without a mount. Here it comes.
They also have the most helpfull sign I have seen in my whole life that village. I am sure no one who starts there will ever get lost.
From the village one can see a tunnel leading off into the mountains and I wondered where it could end. In the light of my findings the sign even makes some sense: the tunnel ends nowhere and everywhere. Actually it is hard to say where it ends. I start to believe the gryphon master tried to find out - and decided not to follow his lead.
With that todays journey ends. As a final picture you see good ol' me trailing off into the sunset along a cliffside with my trusty slippers of spider climbing. Or goo sticking. Who cares.